Hi, this is Marian and I am a mother of two. I work as a
sales representative and my hours are very demanding. My husband , although he is very supportive also has to work and he helps me with taking the kids around for their various extracurricular activities. My blood pressure is through the roof, I feel tired and torn into pieces at the end of the day and then when I
lay my head down to rest, I just cannot sleep because my mind is in over drive.
I try to relax in the weekend but the household chores that have accumulated
during the week demands my attention. How can I relax?
Hi Marian, wow..that almost sums up most of the modern mother’s problems. First of all I would applaud you for knowing that you need to relax and de-stress. This is a very important step. Energy is like a well, one needs to replenish it before it runs on empty.
But in this very fast paced culture that we live in, our values are shifting on a daily basis. Our society is constantly celebrating the doers , we are now giving a lot of significance for achievements and measured successes, we are making a fast descent into idol worshipping only success, where success seems to be GOD. Not that I am anti-success , but the worshipping of it skews the well being of the society .
Establishing that formula in our lives will definitely drive us to be in an endless, unfulfilling drive towards the society’s idea of success and accomplishments, flinging us all into the proverbial rat race.
To rest is to rejuvenate. To rest is to refresh. To rest is to get in touch with the real you, the core being, the one that knows no limitations, the spirit that you were born with. Ask yourself why do I need to relax? If you have enough reasons why you need to relax then you will make it a point to have a date with yourself. This is after all also a relationship with self.
You need to relax in order to:
· communicate with yourself.
· To recharge your own batteries
· Let yourself know how much you love , value and cherish yourself
· To get in touch with your higher self, the one that is in touch with the
· To align yourself with the light, because when you are aligned then everything else will present themselves as your allies. To quote Goethe “ that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.” This is also one of my favorite quotes.
· When we relax we go into the parasympathetic nervous system mode, where blood circulation is slower, where heart beats more deliberately, where your breath becomes deeper and lessens per minute. If you are breathing 4 cycles in a minute then you are an enlightened being. But scientifically, the restful state brings your whole system into homeostasis, a condition where optimum healing occurs , where the mind becomes clearer and this is a place where you find solutions to your problems. meditation is one way of acheiveing this state.
So now that we have established the whys of resting and relaxation let us go to the how:
· Once a week make a date for yourself, actually log it in your calendar .
· Shift your consciousness from doing to being. Balance is key.
· Make a list of things to do and add “Rest for an hour”.
· Make yourself a nook. Make it comfortable inviting and surround this nook with things you love and admire. Then negotiate with your family that when you are in your nook no one can disturb you because while taking care of yourself, you are taking care of them. One morning I was doing my yoga and my then 5 year old daughter kept disturbing me, wanting my constant attention. She then proceeded to emotionally blackmailing me by saying “ momma, I feel you are neglecting me and not taking care of me”. I replied back “ Darling, Mommy is taking care of you really. Exercising as you know makes mommy healthier and fitter, when mommy is healthy she can take care of you better.” She understood and has never distracted me again.
· Give yourself permission to just do nothing , sort of like a pink pass to a guilt free rest because you deserve it! You are the Queen of the house but you have to believe that, you have to promote that to yourself, that is the most important step.
Hope all these tips help you shift your paradigm and you are on your way to a balanced healthy and empowered reality.
Thank you for being our children’s very first teacher and being the foundation of society. My love and blessings to all you mothers out there . We appreciate you!
Adwiti Subba Haffner