“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.” Khalil Gibran
No one has communicated this message better than the maestro himself.
Raising your child in this day and age is very challenging to say the least. The constant collective attention deficit syndrome that the society has created has made it even harder for parents to bond with their children, on a deeper spiritual level.
Parents are motivated mostly by instinct when raising their children, and on a deeper level we want our children to be happy, fulfilled, nurtured and cared for in all ways possible. But, here is the question I am going to pose for you. Are we doing them a favor by fulfilling their every need, meeting their every demand, Aiding them in their every challenges?
While it is a very known fact that parents instinctively want to nurture, nourish and provide for their children all the things perhaps we have missed in our childhood, or gaps and emotional requirements that we are trying to fill as adults, so we strive, we struggle to get the right formula to set a beautiful journey for our children, let us and consider our core relationship with our child.
Here are a few spiritual insights that maybe helpful to you:
1. When crucial decisions are in the make, consider the fact that they are going through a process of self evolution. Guide them with their decisions, give them options and various scenarios and ask them truly to feel their “gut”. We so often ignore our natural instinct when making choices. How do they feel with the decision they are making or have already made. What are the consequences of all the options presented. Help them understand – to be careful, but to be brave.
2. Self reliance is something that is wanting in today’s youths. Give your child the opportunity to discover within themselves, self reliance, to know themselves. In other words, when they are dependent on outer stimulants and materialistic things to support their emotional needs, they then develop a sense of entitlement that does not require compassion, hard work, and blinds them to the needs of others. Teach them self reliance by giving them acceptance instead of the latest toy in the market, feed them with responsibility giving them a sense of pride in what they achieve with their own resources.
3. Teach them to be charitable, but here is the caveat. Often people go to charities for self gratification, for some self service to somehow realize their own needs, whereas there is nothing wrong with that, it is always wonderful to let your children realize that we are all in it together, the rich, the poor, the homeless, the sad and the happy. This will help them develop a strong sense of self that extends beyond the boundaries of possessions and approval from outer sources. Help them to realize their full potential through their own sense of self.
4. Your child reflects your life, your spiritual needs and your mental states are all mostly mirrored back at you. Not to disregard they are born with their own nature, always remember they are teaching as you grow with them. Contemplate! Is your child challenging you with your patience? And then do you need more patience. Are you giving in to all your child’s needs? Or are you fulfilling your own sense of lack in your life.
5. When talking does not work, then use your heart. Meditate. Have a spiritual conversation in your mind with your child’s higher self. This has been known to work in many levels for many parents and my clients.
Your choice to raise your child, self reliant, charitable, spiritual and fulfilled will bless you with more opportunities for “life’s longing for itself” enhancing life.
Until next time, I am here if you need me to help you communicate with your child on a deeper level.
Adwiti Subba Haffner